Good Citizens Sylvia, Gordo Refuse To Be Uncounted

Sylvia
By Anne Sullivan

“Did you fill out your census form?” Sylvia asked. “I see you finally got one.”
“I only have it because I picked it up at the Courthouse in Reserve, that being the only place in the county, which incidentally is the largest county in the U.S., that I could find one. I was so thrilled I filled it out immediately and mailed it off that very day.”
“Things are looking up,” said Sylvia who was busy writing something.
Of course I had to ask what she was writing and Sylvia’s answer was, “I’m working on Gordo’s and my census forms now.”
“I didn’t know there were any forms for animals,” I said.
“There aren’t. I’m forced to use my considerable imagination and create them myself. When the person in charge of the Census sees this, she or he will want my forms for all the 50 states and I’ll finally be rich and famous. Fame and money can’t come too soon. I’ve waited many a year for an opportunity like this.”
We were once again on the porch enjoying the noon sun before the wind picked up so it was easy for me to lean over and see what Sylvia was writing on her census form.
And this is what I saw:
Name of 1st animal: Sylvia
Address: House on porch
City: No city, we’re in the country
County: Catron, where else would you find a dog answering the census?
State: Swingle Canyon
Race: yes and I usually win
Sex: female
Age: 12, I think
Birthday: Thanksgiving is when we celebrate if anyone remembers which is hardly ever.
Parents: Unknown, sob
Children: Alas, none. Not my fault. SHE deceived me into having an operation.
Color: rich reddish brown with a white shirt
Profession: Guard, Poet, Excavator
Employer: Mountain Mail
Place of birth: Probably Socorro
Education: School of Hard Knocks, graduated with honors
Ambition: To be Famous – not infamous, mind you – for something good and earn a lot of money so I could help Fur & Feathers and APAS. I would also like to be Highly Regarded and respected. If there was more space I would write more.
Yearly income: Wouldn’t you like to know?
“Goodness,” I said. “That’s very thorough. More about you than I care to know. But what about Gordo?”
“With Gordo dictating I’ve filled out most of his,” Sylvia said. “See.”
Name of 2nd animal: Gordo
Address: Apartment under the house, Swingle Canyon, Catron County, USA
Race: Feline
Color: Gorgeous mixture of light brown and white
Profession: Permanently Retired
Sex: I wish
Age: Two and then some
Birthday: In the early Spring, that year when there was a Spring
Place of birth: Somewhere in Datil
Parents: My mother’s name is Mange.
Education: Sylvia taught me everything I know.
Ambition: To be assured of the next meal and to have it served in my bed.
Yearly income: What’s that?

“I’ve finished,” said Sylvia. “Will you mail them for me?”
Just then the phone rang and I went inside to answer it, returning to the porch about ten minutes later. “Guess what I just heard?” I said.
“I’ll bite. What?” asked Sylvia.
“There are now census forms at Mary Mac’s café for anyone who hasn’t received them.”
“That’s good but I like my form better,” said Sylvia, having the last word as usual.

Good Citizens Sylvia, Gordo Refuse To Be Uncounted