Sylvia Employs Gordo To Type Autobiography

Sylvia
By Anne Sullivan

During the ensuing week Sylvia continued her computer lessons with Gordo and soon Gordo was turning on The Computer by himself and the day finally came when Gordo actually started typing the treasured manuscript.
Sylvia was now free to spend the entire day writing her autobiography. She filled my last spiral notebook and was now making swift inroads into my computer paper. The pages were now stacked up in three 18-inch piles which made passage across the living room difficult.
“Don’t worry about it, boss,” Sylvia raised her head to say after I nearly stumbled into the pile closest to my comfortable chair. “Gordo will type this in no time. I reckon he’ll finish one of these piles a week. Then, as soon as I finish the first draft, I can start on the rewrites. After that it will be up to you to keep your end of the bargain and get my autobiography published.”
Oh, dear. This was a major worry. I couldn’t visualize the Mountain Mail publishing this voluminous manuscript. Yet, where else would I send it? I wasn’t about to bankroll Sylvia to self-publish. I decided to take a nap and think about it some other time.
The daily routine of Sylvia writing page after page and Gordo typing page after page went on for what seemed like an eternity but the calendar showed that only thirteen days had passed. Gordo, on his part, typed a page, crumpled the finished page up and tossed it into the waste basket. Most of the time he missed and I picked up the little balls of paper each night and every few days took a huge bag to the dump.
Thirteen days of this frenzied work and Gordo began to crumple himself. He complained that his paws were sore. Finally he revolted altogether, turned off The Computer and pushed the screen door open by himself, so anxious was he to get out.
Sylvia shouted after him, “Come back here immediately or I’ll dock your pay!”
“I didn’t know you’d paid him,” I said.
“I haven’t yet and if this revolting revolt continues, I won’t pay him at all.”
“What have you got to pay him with? I haven’t noticed you earning any money.”
“I will, I will. When you get my autobiography published, I’ll not only have loads of money, a million or more, but I’ll be famous as well and have all sorts of TV appearances and book signings to attend. I’ll be able to give Gordo $50 or even $75 out of my earnings. It all depends on the deal you get me.”
“I’m not your agent,” I protested.
“We made a deal,” she yelled at me before going to the door to screech at Gordo, “Come back here, you lazy cat! “
Gordo didn’t appear to pay any attention as he stalked up canyon and then raced up a tree.
Sylvia did her stalking into The Computer Room, muttering, “It’s just as I thought. I have to do everything myself.” She sat at The Computer and began clicking away, still muttering, “Who needs that dumb old cat anyway? I should have known better than to hire an undocumented alien. I can do the rewrites without him. I’ll dock his pay for sure. He must be almost finished with the typing by now anyway…” The mumbles stopped there and what emanated from her mouth then cannot be printed in a family newspaper.
Sylvia jumped up from The Computer, so suddenly that she knocked over the chair, and ran out of the house, almost going through the screen door which wisely gave way. She stood on the porch, shaking her paw and shouting up at Gordo in his tree. He seemed unconcerned by her imprecations.
“I need to get at the book you typed!” she hollered. “But I can’t find it anywhere. What did you save it under?”
“Gordo perked up, looking puzzled. “Save it? Was I supposed to save it?”
Oh dear, oh dear.

Sylvia Employs Gordo To Type Autobiography